your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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