I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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