The best revenge is premature balding
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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