Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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