Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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