Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize