normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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