So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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