a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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