how can u be prego again
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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