Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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