@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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