Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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