What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize