Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
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Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
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The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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