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Someone shit on the floor
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
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