just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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