I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize