I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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