She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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