i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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