why didn't you poke me back
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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