her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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