she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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