Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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