youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize