oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize