i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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