I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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