That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
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lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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