alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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