how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize