I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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