she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
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there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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