Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize