i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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