ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize