The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I believe in your delicious
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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