So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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