When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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