if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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