proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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