are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize