He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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