I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize