the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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