He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Two words: nipple clamps
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