just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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