Betty ford says i'm here all night
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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