Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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