I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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